Pickle Variables

You may think, “How does one judge a better pickle?” And, “Aren’t the differences among them too many, and all of those subjective?” Well, to use a tired cliché, but perhaps tired for good reason, since so many things become subjective with knowledge and wisdom, the answer is yes and no.

photo from: www.fotosearch.com

Yes, there are myriad (yes, this is the word used correctly) variables to consider when one applies a little thought to the subject of pickles. But some variables have a bigger impact when comparing contenders. And no, they’re not subjective, because I alone decide them.

Here are my choices, in no particular order:

• Crunchiness vs Squishiness
• Sourness
• Saltiness
• Garlickyness (my own word, I think)
• Dillyness (again, my concoction)

Exempted from the judging will be size, because it doesn’t matter, as most people are fond of saying. And color, because as long as it’s green, who really cares. For a pickle it’s easy, being green, though Kermit might disagree. And attractiveness? Pickles aren't pretty, that's just the way it is. Taste is paramount, so even the ugliest pickles can compete fairly. Availability should matter, but pickles can be shipped, and this is a more theoretical endeavor anyway.

This blog is a soapbox of sorts to herald the value of a great pickle. To move forward the search for, and encourage others to join in to find, the theoretically perfect pickle, or at least as close a representative, in fact ambassador, as is possible to promote the understanding and enjoyment of pickles.