Pickle Variables

You may think, “How does one judge a better pickle?” And, “Aren’t the differences among them too many, and all of those subjective?” Well, to use a tired cliché, but perhaps tired for good reason, since so many things become subjective with knowledge and wisdom, the answer is yes and no.

photo from: www.fotosearch.com

Yes, there are myriad (yes, this is the word used correctly) variables to consider when one applies a little thought to the subject of pickles. But some variables have a bigger impact when comparing contenders. And no, they’re not subjective, because I alone decide them.

Here are my choices, in no particular order:

• Crunchiness vs Squishiness
• Sourness
• Saltiness
• Garlickyness (my own word, I think)
• Dillyness (again, my concoction)

Exempted from the judging will be size, because it doesn’t matter, as most people are fond of saying. And color, because as long as it’s green, who really cares. For a pickle it’s easy, being green, though Kermit might disagree. And attractiveness? Pickles aren't pretty, that's just the way it is. Taste is paramount, so even the ugliest pickles can compete fairly. Availability should matter, but pickles can be shipped, and this is a more theoretical endeavor anyway.

This blog is a soapbox of sorts to herald the value of a great pickle. To move forward the search for, and encourage others to join in to find, the theoretically perfect pickle, or at least as close a representative, in fact ambassador, as is possible to promote the understanding and enjoyment of pickles.

In The Beginning...

Pursuit of the Perfect Pickle

Alliteration aside, pickles may not rate in importance for many, but some of us share an appreciation for a great pickle. But a great pickle, even a good pickle, isn’t as easy to find as you may think! One caveat here, because many may disagree (but then this is my blog): the dill pickle will be the variety chosen as the benchmark, as it is, in my opinion, the best type of pickle there is. And so, we begin our quest with the much-revered dill pickle variety.

According to Princeton (yes, the renowned university itself), a dill pickle is by definition a “pickle preserved in brine or vinegar flavored with dill seed”. That actually should be dill weed, not seed. And, I would think a comma should be involved there, but back to pickles… This appears to be the definition of the dill pickle by variety because, as most people know, pickles are originally cucumbers, but wrinkled, shrunken and much improved. The preceding definition sans dill therefore applies to all pickles.